It is 7 a.m. You step off of your packed bus and onto the pavement. The Florida air is already thick with humidity. You hear strollers wheeling along the concrete and see a crowd of Mickey ear hats. You follow them along the sidewalk towards a green sign that reads “Disney’s Animal Kingdom.” You may notice upon entering the park that the ticket booths have three different animals on them. One has a dinosaur, one has an elephant, and one has a dragon. These represent the three pillars that make up Animal Kingdom - the animals of yesterday, the animals of today, and the animals that never were. This mirrors Magic Kingdom’s themes of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy.
You’ll notice that each one of these are perfectly represented right now, within different lands of the park. The animals of fantasy are found in Pandora. The animals of today are found in the Oasis, Africa, and Asia. And the animals of yesterday are represented by Dinoland. By destroying Dinoland, Disney is taking a sledgehammer to the very foundation of the park.
You may be surprised to discover that the main theme of Animal Kingdom is not just animals, but conservation of those animals. Animal Kingdom is about appreciating different cultures and creatures. It is about learning to live alongside in peace with every living being on planet Earth.
I’ve seen people on social media ask how the other existing attractions fit into the theme of conservation, as if that’s some sort of brilliant gotcha. I know the readers of Disney Darling are smarter than that. Still, I feel the need to defend this park. So we’re gonna cover all the bases here:
Expedition Everest is about letting the yeti live in peace instead of exploiting her. If you actually take the time to look around the Asia land and talk to the Cast Members, you’ll learn that Asians do not actually view the yeti as a monster. Instead, the yeti is the guardian of the mountain. She protects the mountain wildlife. This aligns with the real-life culture. According to Tibetan Buddhism, the yeti protects the locals against evil spirits. The yeti IS the conservationist of Everest.
Kali River Rapids tells the story of what happens when deforestation gets greedy. At the beginning of the ride you ride through a tropical jungle and hear animals all around you. Soon you hear chainsaws and see a the jungle destroyed.
It’s Tough To Be A Bug (R.I.P.) taught guests that bugs are important to the ecosystem and shouldn’t be excessively killed. It sounds as if the replacement Zootopia attraction will also encourage preservation of each of the Earth’s unique ecosystems.
The Kilimanjaro Safaris and Rafiki’s Planet Watch attractions may be a little too on the nose with their message of conservation, so I won’t waste time repeating that.
On the other hand, Pandora may be a little too subtle with their message of conservation. Nevertheless, it’s present all throughout Avatarland. Instead of colonizing the planet and destroying its natural resources, humans are leaning to live in harmony with the Na’vi aliens and all of the planet’s lifeforms. Both major attractions in the land are about learning about the environment of the planet. And if guests can learn to respect an alien fantasy planet, they’ll learn to respect their own real-life planet.
But how does Dinoland fit in with the rest of the park? Dinoland is themed after a paleontology dig site, where students are making discoveries about these creatures all the time. Animals going extinct is unfortunately not exclusive to the Cretaceous era. Dinoland is what will happen to the animals of Africa and Asia and all over the globe if we do not take care of them. Dinoland is a warning; a lesson. Dinoland is WHY conservation is important. If you lose Dinoland, you lose a key aspect of the message of Animal Kingdom.
Plus, dinosaurs are fucking awesome.
Now, I’m not one to criticize something new just because it’s new. Walt himself did say he always wanted the parks to grow and progress. Disney’s Animal Kingdom did phenomenal things with Pandora land, but now it’s time to keep moving forward. And Animal Kingdom does desperately need more attractions after several offerings closed for good within the past 4 years. I’m not against adding anything new to Animal Kingdom! I’m against taking away what makes the park special.
I’m also not completely against realism. Dinoland is easily the weakest part of the park. The Dino-rama section (with all the carnival games) never made sense and was rumored to have only been a temporary filler until something more interesting was possible. And there have been reports of the main Dinosaur ride only operating at 50% as some of the effects are broken. The land clearly needs updating. Key word: UPDATING.
An easy compromise can be achieved. Dinoland is obviously integral to the park, but half of it needs a major overhaul. Luckily, Dinoland is already divided into two sections. There is the Dino Institute. This section is themed after a paleontology dig site. It includes the Boneyard playground, the crocodile exhibit, Restaurantosaurus, the Cretaceous Trail that holds character meet and greets, and the Dinosaur ride. Kids love climbing around the Boneyard. Thrill seekers love Dinosaur. Disney nerds love looking around Restaurantosaurus for easter eggs. No one has any problem with this half of Dinoland.
The other half is Dino-rama. This section is themed after a hokey ‘50s roadside attraction. There are pay-to-play carnival games, merchandise stands, and a kitschy gift shop. This section is what kills the vibe for most guests. They can get this at any county fair across the nation. When you go to Disney, you want to be wowed. This is what people are specifically referring to when they say they don’t like Dinoland.
There is a very obvious solution here: keep the Dino Institute part of Dinoland, and re-theme the Dino-rama part. This way Disney can still keep true to Animal Kingdom’s theme while continuously improving. And once the new land opens with new attractions and crowd draws, go in and close the Dinosaur ride for an extended refurbishment. It feels so obvious that you’d have to be fucking stupid to not do it.
Dinoland needs to be saved from extinction, at least in some way. Dinoland is about conservation, exploration, and education. It is key to upholding the park’s cohesive story. There is no Disney’s Animal Kingdom without the dinosaurs.
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